Today I would like to spill my guts {and heart} with regard to
being healthy and weight management. It’s hard and not a very nice story, but
if it helps 1 person then I have accomplished what I wanted to.
I have always been a pudgy, chubby child. Not entirely out
of shape, but I had flabby parts. In my life I have had people tell me to my
face that I am fat, I have been called names, been rejected and ignored
(especially by the opposite sex) and had someone very close to me hurt me right
in the center of my being because of my weight.
I had a girl follow me around in Gr2 constantly shouting at
my back {I could not face her} that I am a fatty-boom-boom {it made a very nice
chant}. I even had a person blackmail me with regard to my eating habits.
I have developed an unhealthy relationship with food.
Whenever I am sad or angry or need a lift-me-up, I would turn to food. It used
to be fast food for example KFC, McDonalds etc. Sweets, chips, chocolates and
cookies very often made their appearance too. Over the years I have turned to
carbs a lot more. I replaced fast food with pasta, bread and refined carbs like
crisps. I also have a bad habit of eating when I am bored.
Ever since I was little I have always had someone watch me
with a hawk’s eye. It is safe to say
that I have been best friends with doctors and dietitians since I was born
{this is not just because of my weight but due to the fact that I am a type 1
Diabetic}.
Why I am telling you all this? I need you to know that the struggle is real and where I
come from. This is not just another post with some tips of the internet and
that this is as real as it is going to get.
I broke up with a boyfriend many years ago and at that stage
I was immensely over weight {but not obese}. After it ended I really felt disgusted
with myself and I decided to take action. I lost 10kg’s. I was so proud and I
felt great. I have gained the weight again and lost some and it went see-saw
like that for a quite a few years.
In 2010 I was the leanest I have ever been, but from there
it kind of went south. I have gained all the weight I lost and I have back
fat! I live in my “fat pants” and denims {my favorite thing in my closet} are
almost a no-go these days. I can blame this on many events in my life and I can
pin point where things went wrong, but it doesn’t matter. What matters today,
right now is that I am going to try again. My dietitian once told me that if I
did not try I would have been at a much worse place than I am now.
It is really challenging! I wanted to lose a few kg’s before
my 30th birthday {it is part of my goals for 2015}, but you know
what. I failed again. Up until today I have not lost a single kg. I did, but I
gained again. I feel like such a failure, but I am going to try again.
After all this and everything that happened I have come to a
point where I knew I needed some accountability. So, this is the reason I am
telling you all this. I have made a decision to put this out there, on my spot
on the internet, and make myself accountable to someone.
This is how I am going to do it.
My mom and I were driving to the mall earlier this week and
they were talking about a new diet on the radio. Another quick fix. I remember
telling my mom that people are approaching a healthy lifestyle the wrong way. I
never go on diets. I have banned the word diet from my vocabulary. What I have been doing is trying to cut out
junk from my menus and trying to fill it with healthier choices {it’s a daily
struggle}.
I am armed with everything that I need to know with regard
to me being healthy, getting fit and losing weight. I have heard the same
things over and over. No carbs at dinner, less carbs throughout the day, get
rid of {added} sugar-obviously for my diabetes as well-healthy fats, more fiber, fruits etc. I have also decided to stay away from a scale until I see my dietitian again {in November}. What I want to focus on is making healthier
choices and to start moving again. The couch is hurting my back.
I am going to forget about my original goal in my 2015 goals
and focus on getting me mentally and physically strong and healthy without the
pressure of losing x-amount of kg’s.
I am taking the day-by-day approach. Life happens and
setting unrealistic goals puts unnecessary pressure on you.
My action plan:
♥ I would like to start drinking more water. Now, I do not
want to drown myself and I am aiming for 1.5L a day, but if I only make 1L that
is perfect. It is more than no water at all. I bought this water bottle from
Typo and I love it! It is snazzy and it keeps 1L! It is much easier on you
mentally to get that 1L. I know..a lot of mind games.
You can go and buy yourself one here for ZAR99.00
(AUS$9.99)
♥ I would like to move more. I don’t necessarily mean
running 10km’s or going to the gym 5 times a week-don’t be unrealistic. When I
say move, I mean take the stairs instead of the lift {I never take the lift, but I am just saying} or go for a walk
when you have the chance instead of watching nonsense on TV. This video of
Suzelle DIY is great inspiration {link not affiliated}
I had a personal trainer and I attended bootcamp for a
few months. Unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances I cannot afford
either of these anymore. I have held onto this reason for quite some time. It
was a comfort zone. “Oh I don’t have the money so I will stay on the couch”.
Enough is enough. I went onto my Pinterest (Healthy Living Pinterest Board)
where I have aimlessly pinned hundreds of quick exercise charts and chose one
that I know I can fit into my day. It is short, quick and I tried it last
night- I can feel the burn!
♥ I would like to start attending races {or fun runs}
again. There is no excuse to not attend one. We have at least 5 races every
Saturday morning all around us. I am going to try and fit in a race at least
once a month. It is realistic and reachable.
♥ I am going to try and make healthier choices with regard
to my daily meals. I would like join my friend in October and take part in her No-Choctober month. I am going to limit my carbs, but I am not removing anything, just watching portions and be a little strict with myself. I am also going to try to stop eating when
I am bored. Good luck to me!
♥ I had a laugh when I saw a picture once saying that
“Don’t reward yourself with food, you are not a dog”. Everybody loves rewards
and something to work towards. So my motivation would be (I already own clothes
I can work with it is just pulling it off) my My style inspo Pinterest Board. I
would like to pull off these outfits ‘cause it is just so beautiful and all
girls like feeling beautiful right?
I am keeping it
simple. I don’t want to overwhelm myself and lose my rhythm before I even
started. I will also check in again round about the same time my goals must
come to an end and be reviewed.
I want you to understand one thing. I am doing this for me
and nobody else. I am tired of being where I am and I would like to be healthy
and fit when I turn 80 {hopefully} one day. I shared this if there is someone
that needed a story like this. I am not done yet. I will keep on trying,
because by trying I am not going backwards and I am demolishing all the lies I
have been told by those ugly, rude people.
I will leave you with this thought today:
I hope you took something positive from this today. If you
have a story to share you are more than welcome to share it in the comments
below or contact me.
Speak to you soon!
Remember-you are lovely!
xoxo
